Hi, Alex. It's Amy here. It has been close to a year since I last left you at the airport, and just about half an hour since we talked via Skype on the laptop they provided me here with. I admit that it took me a really long time to initiate that Skype call with you. I just.. couldn't muster up the strength and courage to pick myself up after the huge hit from Pam's sudden death. It just goes to show that life is really a fragile thing that should be treasured and made the most out of while you still have that precious time.
I actually had something really important to tell you just now, but somehow the moment never felt right. By the time you read this letter, I'm sure you would have already known that I'm about to undergo a surgery in less than 24 hours time. To be precise, a surgical clinical trial. I don't know for sure what the outcome will turn out to be, and neither do the top surgeons all over the world.
Just in case I wouldn't have the chance to say all these to you in the future, I'm just going to jot them all down in this letter and hope that I can make the words flow as smoothly as possible. You know me and papers; I'm such a lazy pig that I hate thinking of things to write. For starters, I will just write about all the memories passing by in my head right now.
I remember clearly how we started going out. I remember the time when I forced you to take an extra language class with me because I didn't want to be a loner in that class. I remember the time when you teased me because you got first in that very same class and me, third. I remember the time when I started having a crush on you, when I was just sweeping my eyes around the cafeteria and spotted you and my heart skipped a beat. I remember when you sat in front of me during tests and always turned around to talk to me between breaks. I remember when we were upset that we were separated to different classes the next semester. I remember when we reunited in the same class two semesters later. I remember when we went to a camp, where I got locked out of my room because I was in your room studying till past midnight, and I ended up going back to your room for the night. I remember when you asked me out on our first date, using the excuse of your friend not being able to make it for a late night movie. You were all nervous and sweaty as your friends hung around nonchalantly at the back, failing miserably to blend in with the non-existent crowd. I remember when that one date turned to two and then three and then countless more.
I remember when we drifted apart when I started dating Will. I remember when I was feeling down when I argued with Will but you came to my house and surprised me with a picnic basket groaning under the weight of all my favourite food. I remember when we had a dispute because you spent so much time on DotA and I hid your favourite gaming headphones because I was so mad at you. We didn't talk for days after that but you came to apologize with flowers and a cute teddy in hand. It was always you who apologized first, always you who conceded to me. I remember all the little things you did for me, those small touches that paint a smile on my face every time I think about you.
Our journey was definitely not the best, nor the smoothest sailing relationship out there, but all of these memories we created together were the best I could ever ask for. I sincerely thank you for all the memories you have given me. Those were the memories that can still make me laugh and yet, cry as I write this letter to you.
If this surgery succeeds, and I live, then good. You will never have to know about the existence of this letter. But if by chance this operation fails, I want you to continue living your life without me. Get a girlfriend. Propose to her. Start a new family. Get on with life.
As selfish as it sounds, I don't want you to forget about me. I want you to be able to look back upon our memories fondly, and improvise those failed plans you did for me for your next partner. Chase your dreams, no matter what others say to you. Open your own clinic. Be the most lovable, the kindest, the greatest doctor anyone has ever seen. Find a cure for my sickness. Because I have faith in you that you can do it.
As time passes by while I'm writing this letter, I can't help wishing that you were here next to me. But I'll stay strong and get through this surgery on my own. I'll be ready to greet you with outstretched arms once I'm all better, and then maybe this letter won't even be deemed important any more.
P.S. I hid your favourite DotA headphones at the back of the guest room cupboard. Just in case you wanted them back.
P.P.S. I love you.
Monday, 9 November 2015
Saturday, 29 August 2015
Literature- The Part That You Like The Most
The magnificently written
novel, 'Step by Wicked Step' written by Anne Fine, has its ups and down
throughout the story that instantly enraptured me and earned my liking for it,
I personally think that the most outstanding part in this novel is the tear-inducing
sentimental moment in Richard's story. I have mixed feelings about this part,
because there are certain sentences in the letter that has the potential to
make me chuckle with glee but also tear up.
Firstly, I was elated at the
part when Charlotte mentioned in her letter that Mr.Coldstone died of fury when
he found out that Richard is the owner of Old Harwick Hall. I felt that
Mr.Coldstone did not deserve the title of the owner of Old Hardwick Hall, because
he only married Richard's mother for her wealth and not sincere love. He knew
Richard's mother was lonely and needed a shoulder to lean on so he took
advantage of her during her point of weakness to marry her. Like Richard had
said, 'the black, black bat crept up on my mother and trapped her as surely as
if he'd thrown a net on her (PG19 P1) Mr.Coldstone was unwilling to spend
another penny on the search for Richard, and he threatened to abuse Lilith for
doing so. His harsh words still linger in Charlotte's mind as she illustrated
her letter forwarded to Richard. 'Lilith! Waste more of your dwindling fortune
on this folly and I will make you pay it for twice over!' (PG 27 P2)
In my most humble opinion, I
personally feel emotionally stirred by the plot where the writer revealed that
Richard Clayton Hardwick returned to his home twice. “I stood like a trespasser
in the shadow of the lime walk and watched the house. (PG 26, P1) He had the
golden opportunity to return home and make up for lost time but he chose to
escape reality once again. By doing so, he would forever be alone. This was the
price he paid for running away. “I crept away, back to sea where fortune shone
on me even through storms and shipwrecks.(PG 26, P4) He faced the dilemma of
having to choose his path in life after reading the letter. “I have to choose
whether to stay and face the damage I have done”. As an avid reader, I had
expected him to return home and save his mother and sister from their misery,
but his unexpected decision proved my expectations wrong. This extreme plot
twist was heart rending and tugged at my heartstrings.
In a nutshell, Richard’s story stood out the
most compared to the rest of the characters in this novel which really grabbed
my attention relentlessly. I like that Anne Fine took a risk to write the plot
twists in Richard’s story because the risk definitely paid off, although It
could either make or break the whole story. Though sad at times, Anne’s
brilliantly crafted story managed to pull it off beautifully.
Literature- How A Character Has Changed Due to Certain Events That Have Taken Place In His/Her Life
Based on the novel, Step by Wicked Step, by Anne Fine, the character that I feel has changed due to certain events that have taken place in his life is Colin. Colin used to love life with his stepfather. He remembered every little detail about his stepfather, from him rolling his own cigarettes out of tobacco in a tin, down to the silver patches of hair over his ears. After Colin's mother brought Colin with her to a completely foreign neighbourhood, Colin's character changed drastically.
Firstly, Colin changed into a very unhappy and lonely boy after moving away from his stepfather, He had to join a new school where everyone had friends already. He had to go through an unpleasant experience in his new school, he got ignored by the students in school. Nobody bothered with me. His mother, however, found a new job and was constantly busy with her daily routine that she did not bother about Colin. This made Colin miss his stepfather all the more, because he used to be able to confide in Jack about his troubles. It wasn't how it used to be with Dad. It is evident that Colin had transformed from a loving boy to a very lonely boy after the move.
Secondly, Colin became a dreamy boy, which caused him to have less focus in class till he did badly in school. The main reason for this was due to him missing his stepfather very much. Every night, he would take the tobacco tin out of the toe of his boot and put it under his pillow. Colin would then pretend that Jack was still by his side, ready to listen to his rant of the day. He would hum his and Jack's favourite song and stay awake for hours talking to his dad,whom he pretended was there.
Thirdly, Colin became resourceful. He was determined to search for his stepfather. His first effort was to write a letter to his stepfather, addressed to his old house. He did not receive a reply but he did not give up. Colin saved practically every penny that comes his way. He even does three paper rounds and always prefers cash for Christmas instead of gifts from his mother. Colin keeps an exact account on how long he was apart from his stepfather, which was 5 years, 8 months and 7 days.
In a nutshell, Colin responded negatively to the changes in his life. He became sad, dreamy and moody. This compelled him to make the courageous decision to search for his stepfather by doing something worthy. His love and longing for his dad motivated him to become optimistic, resourceful and patient in his goal to search for his dad.
Firstly, Colin changed into a very unhappy and lonely boy after moving away from his stepfather, He had to join a new school where everyone had friends already. He had to go through an unpleasant experience in his new school, he got ignored by the students in school. Nobody bothered with me. His mother, however, found a new job and was constantly busy with her daily routine that she did not bother about Colin. This made Colin miss his stepfather all the more, because he used to be able to confide in Jack about his troubles. It wasn't how it used to be with Dad. It is evident that Colin had transformed from a loving boy to a very lonely boy after the move.
Secondly, Colin became a dreamy boy, which caused him to have less focus in class till he did badly in school. The main reason for this was due to him missing his stepfather very much. Every night, he would take the tobacco tin out of the toe of his boot and put it under his pillow. Colin would then pretend that Jack was still by his side, ready to listen to his rant of the day. He would hum his and Jack's favourite song and stay awake for hours talking to his dad,whom he pretended was there.
Thirdly, Colin became resourceful. He was determined to search for his stepfather. His first effort was to write a letter to his stepfather, addressed to his old house. He did not receive a reply but he did not give up. Colin saved practically every penny that comes his way. He even does three paper rounds and always prefers cash for Christmas instead of gifts from his mother. Colin keeps an exact account on how long he was apart from his stepfather, which was 5 years, 8 months and 7 days.
In a nutshell, Colin responded negatively to the changes in his life. He became sad, dreamy and moody. This compelled him to make the courageous decision to search for his stepfather by doing something worthy. His love and longing for his dad motivated him to become optimistic, resourceful and patient in his goal to search for his dad.
Literature- Compare two characters.
Based on the novel, Step by Wicked Step, by Anne Fine, there are two characters that have several differences as well as similarities. I will compare and contrast those two characters, which are Richard and Colin.
One of the points that I will elaborate on is Richard and Colin's love for their respective dads. They both missed their fathers dearly. However, in Richard's case, he had lost his father forever as his father had already died and moved on to a better place, in the heavens. Colin merely lost contact with his father after he moved away with his mother without leaving any clues for his father to search for them. While Richard had no way to get in touch with his father again, Colin was still searching for his stepfather. Colin saves up all his money in a safe space for the time when he will embark on the search for his stepfather. I keep practically every penny that comes my way. Colin is determined to look for his beloved stepfather when he is old enough. As soon as I'm tall enough, I'm off. Clearly, Richard and Colin are unable to let go of their love for their dads.
Secondly, both Richard and Colin were ignored by their mothers. They did not get any attention from their mothers. Richard felt that his mother, Lilith, did not care about him when she married Mr. Coldstone despite his obvious contempt for Mr Coldstone. His mother turned a blind eye when Mr. Coldstone's treated him badly and said everything he does is for your own good. All his mother did was to lower her eyes. As for Colin, his mother was not aware of how much he missed his stepfather, Jack, because she is too busy working at the canteen and doing household chores. I think Mum thinks that I've forgotten him. To conclude, it is apparent that Richard and Colin did not feel their mothers' love.
Thirdly, Richard and Colin wanted to run away to make things work. They could only think of running away as the best option to solve all their problems. Richard ran away from home with the hope that he could make life more pleasant for everyone. Without me, the three of them would get on well enough. Colin however, was planning to run away to find his stepfather. Both of them have their differences as Richard realized that running away does not solve any problems. This is apparent when he had to face the damage he had done by piling one wrong on another. Colin, on the other hand, was still bent on the idea to search for his stepfather. He even does three paper rounds in an effort to accumulate more money for the search.
Drawing a conclusion, the two characters suffered much pain and sorrow as no one cares about them nor how they feel. They had no one to advise them that running away does not solve problems, in fact it can affect the people around them. Richard has learnt that lesson, but Colin has yet to encounter that problem. It is clear that we need to think wisely before making a serious decision in life.
One of the points that I will elaborate on is Richard and Colin's love for their respective dads. They both missed their fathers dearly. However, in Richard's case, he had lost his father forever as his father had already died and moved on to a better place, in the heavens. Colin merely lost contact with his father after he moved away with his mother without leaving any clues for his father to search for them. While Richard had no way to get in touch with his father again, Colin was still searching for his stepfather. Colin saves up all his money in a safe space for the time when he will embark on the search for his stepfather. I keep practically every penny that comes my way. Colin is determined to look for his beloved stepfather when he is old enough. As soon as I'm tall enough, I'm off. Clearly, Richard and Colin are unable to let go of their love for their dads.
Secondly, both Richard and Colin were ignored by their mothers. They did not get any attention from their mothers. Richard felt that his mother, Lilith, did not care about him when she married Mr. Coldstone despite his obvious contempt for Mr Coldstone. His mother turned a blind eye when Mr. Coldstone's treated him badly and said everything he does is for your own good. All his mother did was to lower her eyes. As for Colin, his mother was not aware of how much he missed his stepfather, Jack, because she is too busy working at the canteen and doing household chores. I think Mum thinks that I've forgotten him. To conclude, it is apparent that Richard and Colin did not feel their mothers' love.
Thirdly, Richard and Colin wanted to run away to make things work. They could only think of running away as the best option to solve all their problems. Richard ran away from home with the hope that he could make life more pleasant for everyone. Without me, the three of them would get on well enough. Colin however, was planning to run away to find his stepfather. Both of them have their differences as Richard realized that running away does not solve any problems. This is apparent when he had to face the damage he had done by piling one wrong on another. Colin, on the other hand, was still bent on the idea to search for his stepfather. He even does three paper rounds in an effort to accumulate more money for the search.
Drawing a conclusion, the two characters suffered much pain and sorrow as no one cares about them nor how they feel. They had no one to advise them that running away does not solve problems, in fact it can affect the people around them. Richard has learnt that lesson, but Colin has yet to encounter that problem. It is clear that we need to think wisely before making a serious decision in life.
Sunday, 2 August 2015
Goodbyes. [PART 7]
Alex could hear sounds of exclamations inside the ward from where he was standing outside. He peeked in the door to see Amy's expression change from shock to disbelief and finally, denial as the brunt of the horrifying news sunk in. Of billions of people all over the world, Alex couldn't believe that Amy was one of them who inherited a rare disease that affects her nervous system. Amy's parents who were determined to rid her of the disease were planning to send her to the most advanced hospital in the world for a higher success rate.
After the sobbing sounds from inside the ward subsided, Amy's parents exited the ward, telling Alex that he was wanted by Amy. They shared a subdued silence as they looked into each others' eyes. Amy whispered first, informing him that she would have to leave to California in a few days, possibly not coming back for several years while the therapy went on. Another solemn silence ensued. Alex responded by hugging her. Amy lay in the comfort of his embrace, enjoying his warmth. Alex muttered to Amy, "Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. I will settle for that while waiting for you."
And so it went, the last day before Amy leaves for California. A handwritten note. Hugs that neither of them wanted to let go. More than just a little tears involved. Alex waved to Amy till she was out of sight.
Upon landing in California, Amy's parents immediately sent her to the hospital. Amy bid her parents goodbye from the ward she was admitted in. Once she saw them enter the elevator, she slowly made her way into her room. Her future seemed so desolate, what with all the therapies and sleepless nights she will encounter during rehabilitation. Scared of what will come, Amy collapsed at the corner of her room and broke down into silent tears.
At the exact same time, Alex's heart felt like it was being torn ruthlessly into bits and pieces. Back in the airport, he could see in Amy's eyes that she was terrified, but was trying to keep up a brave front so as to not cast worry on everyone who cared about. He could tell she was feigning ignorance about the seriousness of the whole matter, of the slim chance that she could actually survive the hurdle God presented to her. The moments of clarity and sorrow in her eyes as she left him were enough to help him make his decision. She was worth the wait, no matter how long it would take.
After the sobbing sounds from inside the ward subsided, Amy's parents exited the ward, telling Alex that he was wanted by Amy. They shared a subdued silence as they looked into each others' eyes. Amy whispered first, informing him that she would have to leave to California in a few days, possibly not coming back for several years while the therapy went on. Another solemn silence ensued. Alex responded by hugging her. Amy lay in the comfort of his embrace, enjoying his warmth. Alex muttered to Amy, "Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. I will settle for that while waiting for you."
And so it went, the last day before Amy leaves for California. A handwritten note. Hugs that neither of them wanted to let go. More than just a little tears involved. Alex waved to Amy till she was out of sight.
Upon landing in California, Amy's parents immediately sent her to the hospital. Amy bid her parents goodbye from the ward she was admitted in. Once she saw them enter the elevator, she slowly made her way into her room. Her future seemed so desolate, what with all the therapies and sleepless nights she will encounter during rehabilitation. Scared of what will come, Amy collapsed at the corner of her room and broke down into silent tears.
At the exact same time, Alex's heart felt like it was being torn ruthlessly into bits and pieces. Back in the airport, he could see in Amy's eyes that she was terrified, but was trying to keep up a brave front so as to not cast worry on everyone who cared about. He could tell she was feigning ignorance about the seriousness of the whole matter, of the slim chance that she could actually survive the hurdle God presented to her. The moments of clarity and sorrow in her eyes as she left him were enough to help him make his decision. She was worth the wait, no matter how long it would take.
Thursday, 30 July 2015
Realization. [PART 6]
All of a sudden, Amy lost all control of her body. Everything felt numb. She fell off her feet as she slumped down on the ground, the phone sliding just out of reach from her hands. The last thing Amy could recall before blacking out was a pair of shoes, Alex's shoes, running towards her.
Amy awoke in the hospital several hours later. As she blinked her eyes in a futile attempt to adjust her eyes to the bright ceiling light, she turned her head to the left side of her bed. Amy spotted a black tuft of hair belonging to a head, namely, Alex's head, sleeping by her bed. She angled her head for a better view of him. Not seeing him for the short period of time when he was MIA somehow confirmed her about her feelings towards him. She affirmed that her affection for him was more than just a brotherhood-sisterhood relationship. As the idiom goes, you never miss the water till the well runs dry.
Amy's movements stirred Alex awake. He immediately showered her with questions about her condition, whether or not she needed food, water or anything at all. Amy laughed as she shook her head. His concern for her was genuinely just a sense of protection over a younger sibling. Amy asked Alex for her parents, just when they strolled in from the door. Alex moved silently as he made his way out of the ward. This was a moment that only family members were welcomed, because they had to either break down together or fight to stand together.
Alex sighed as awareness dawned upon him that they were about to break the bad news to her.
Amy awoke in the hospital several hours later. As she blinked her eyes in a futile attempt to adjust her eyes to the bright ceiling light, she turned her head to the left side of her bed. Amy spotted a black tuft of hair belonging to a head, namely, Alex's head, sleeping by her bed. She angled her head for a better view of him. Not seeing him for the short period of time when he was MIA somehow confirmed her about her feelings towards him. She affirmed that her affection for him was more than just a brotherhood-sisterhood relationship. As the idiom goes, you never miss the water till the well runs dry.
Amy's movements stirred Alex awake. He immediately showered her with questions about her condition, whether or not she needed food, water or anything at all. Amy laughed as she shook her head. His concern for her was genuinely just a sense of protection over a younger sibling. Amy asked Alex for her parents, just when they strolled in from the door. Alex moved silently as he made his way out of the ward. This was a moment that only family members were welcomed, because they had to either break down together or fight to stand together.
Alex sighed as awareness dawned upon him that they were about to break the bad news to her.
The Video. [PART 5]
Amy stared around her in fascination. The vibrant colours of dozens of multicoloured balloons contrasted sharply with the dull colours of the rooftop, but seemed to blend in just perfectly with the summer sunshine. With the addition of bubbles that reflected the colours of those balloons floating around lazily, the rooftop seemed so much more magical. Amy spotted a picnic blanket spread out in the midst of the entrancing site. She took several hesitant steps towards it and opened the picnic basket on the checkered blanket.
Inside, a single phone with earphones already plugged in lay solitary on the base of the basket. Amy pressed the play button, her heart racing with.. Eagerness? Curiosity? She herself didn't know what she was expecting to see in the video. For her, all she knew was that she was relieved because Alex was still alive and well.
Alex's face appeared on the screen of the phone Amy held dearly. As the video proceeded, Amy felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. The video featured Alex as he secretly helped her whenever she needed it. Copying her notes for her by asking her classmates when she was absent. Fanning her without her noticing when she felt hot. Helping her put in a good word to the teachers so she could go on the class trip she longed for. Coming over to her house with porridge in one hand and notes in the other so he could help her with her due project. He was her Santa, her Superman, her tooth fairy all in one.
As Amy watched the video, she felt soothing warmth envelope her when all of a sudden...
Inside, a single phone with earphones already plugged in lay solitary on the base of the basket. Amy pressed the play button, her heart racing with.. Eagerness? Curiosity? She herself didn't know what she was expecting to see in the video. For her, all she knew was that she was relieved because Alex was still alive and well.
Alex's face appeared on the screen of the phone Amy held dearly. As the video proceeded, Amy felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. The video featured Alex as he secretly helped her whenever she needed it. Copying her notes for her by asking her classmates when she was absent. Fanning her without her noticing when she felt hot. Helping her put in a good word to the teachers so she could go on the class trip she longed for. Coming over to her house with porridge in one hand and notes in the other so he could help her with her due project. He was her Santa, her Superman, her tooth fairy all in one.
As Amy watched the video, she felt soothing warmth envelope her when all of a sudden...
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